True love is like a ghost, everyone talks about it but few have been able to see or experience it. I am a master of love and my wife, Morticia, and I have the most passionate love of them all. She is beautiful, pale and mysterious and whilst you won’t find one as perfect as she, I can help you on the path to your own love.
- Download a dating app such as Plenty of Dead Fish, Creeper, They’re Behind You or Ahh Harmony to begin your journey to love.
- Take your new suitor somewhere romantic like a dark and chilly attic during a thunderstorm, a cemetery on a full moon or better yet take them to an abandoned circus in the middle of nowhere.
- Whisper loving phrases in their ear like…
- Cupid had it right, he had a bow and arrow and archery is a great first date. To add a little more passion take it in turns to put an apple on your head and fire at one another.
- Love is not always lovely thorns and singing vultures but make sure that every night with them is like Halloween.
- When it comes to gifts nothing says love more than matching his and hers coffins.
- Tango is the dance of love. Make sure to never leave it more than a few hours in-between tangoing.
- Date night games like hide in a grave and seek or a short dose of electrocution can really get sparks flying and ensure this relationship lasts beyond the grave.
Wishing you all the best on your quest to love. Until next time my beauties…